if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
