put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
