He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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