I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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