Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He's on the porch naked. Help.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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