He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
only if we run a train.
done.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
