they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
