i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
