My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they need to just BURY HIM!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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