i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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