Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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