Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
