when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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