You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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