At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
