so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
