Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
