Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize