she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
