may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
