I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
