I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
