it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
