i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
