Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
