I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
