what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
