I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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