i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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