apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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