You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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