i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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