We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
