Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
