He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
