I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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