I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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