You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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