He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize