I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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