Are we in a gay sports bar?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
