yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
