I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
