to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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