She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
pray to the hookup gods
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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