return my video game
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
