I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do vagina's smell?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
