I saw his package. It spoke to me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
