Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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