Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
