dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
