Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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