It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
