Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
