I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
