he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
