i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
