I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
