You smell like stripper and shame
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
