White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
